BECOMING WHO I WAS (2017): Tutor and Protégé

At 95 minutes and distributed in mostly independent theatres, it’s not surprising that this documentary only grossed around $270,000.  Yet Becoming Who I Was is a moving film not because of the subject matter, but because of the relationship of the man who tutors a young boy who is to become a Rinpoche.  For those who do not know what that is, a Rinpoche in the Buddhist faith is an incarnated lama.  Thus, we have the title of this film.

Yet, for me, the merits of this movie have practically nothing to do with reincarnation, Buddhism, or any other mystical element that the New Age community may latch upon.  It’s a good story because the filmmakers somehow were able to capture the devotion and kind-heartedness of the elderly tutor who wants to see his pupil succeed.

The film starts slowly enough.  It portrays Angdu Padma, our future Rinpoche, anywhere from the ages of 9 to approximately 12 or 13.  What we notice about him is that he seems so very much like a typical young and likable boy.  He claims to have memories of a past life, and that seems to generate all of the fuss.  Those his age don’t seem that impressed.  Some even tease him about his lack of ability to play soccer and his short height.

His tutor, Rigzin Urgain, on the other hand, believes that Padma is special.  At first, it seems like Urgain only took on the role because of the requirements of the religious community, but when we see to what lengths he goes in helping his pupil, we know his devotion to the child goes much deeper than that.  Urgain is a humble man in the very best sense.  He doesn’t even seem to realize that he is doing something extraordinary in helping Padma gain a better understanding of the world.  It doesn’t matter that the two are Buddhists.  His tutorship would benefit the boy under any sort of instruction. 

So like Urgain, this is a humble movie – outside of its title and spectacular scenery.  Yes, it is a South Korean film winning: (1) the best feature film at the Berlin International Film Festival; (2) best documentary at the Minneapolis St. Paul International Film Festival, Phoenix Film Festival and Seattle Film Festival; (3) and the Moscow International Documentary Film Festival.  I’m not sure anyone cares.  It is probably too low-key ever to have substantial viewership.

For all practical purposes, this is a slightly offbeat father/son relationship story.  The film’s picking up on this relationship, especially in the second half of the movie, is what makes it unique.

And in this film, we have a pilgrimage with the two traveling across much of India and relying on the kindness of others to have Padma educated in a Buddhist monastery – supposedly so that the boy could better understand his gifts.  Yet watching the film, it appears that Urgain would be a better instructor than anyone else who would try to fill his role.

To me, the title is misleading.  Padma is not becoming who he was, but instead is becoming something better than that.  He is becoming a real human being. 

April 30, 2020

© Robert S. Miller 2020